Save the baby whales…NOW

Ok, Greta, ok. I get it. I get it. Really I do.  And i’m right with ya there all the way, 30 percent! We have to have more respect for dear Mother Earth or she may just decide to have her way with us one of these days…

And although I am a logger, a fishing guide, a builder and I burn an awful lot of fuel and I dearly love to travel, and, and  i’m absolutely everything you love to hate. (I forgot where I was going with this…oh yeah). I too love the wild spaces on the planet and I too hate the destruction of mountains and rivers and the cute little ecosystems which have been thriving for thousands of millions of billions of years without any assistance at all from super-intelligent human beings who are so clever they can tell the future while ignoring and erasing all the lessons of the past at the same time.

Butt… and here is The Enormous Butt: But, is this generation of climaphobes really considering what it is collectively and severally asking for, because “here’s the thing”: say we were somehow motivated to panic as you suggest we all should, and we really went all in, every last one of us on planet earth, and we said, “hellzyeah!” enough of burning fuel and running businesses and all that climate-killing rot. Say we stop the whole shmear in a day. What’s going to happen in this glorious new garden of eden?

Well, for one small thing, the food will cease to be brought to the population centers. In fact, production of food will all but cease overnight! But don’t despair, there are farmers here and there with chickens and some with cows and no doubt they will all be just too happy to just give their resources to the starving masses and won’t mind a bit seeing their fields of wheat and corn being trampled by bare-footed starving zombie hoards from this city and that, because surely they will understand that, as the food is no longer being produced and transported to the city slickers, those same city slickers will have to revert to a nomadic lifestyle and roam the land like their starving ancestors in days of yore. (whatever the heck yore is).

Imagine the utopia it will be: People re-learning how to make socks out of racoons and toilet paper out of foxes. Parents teaching their children how to prepare frozen alfalfa in delightful, exciting new environmentally frenly ways! And with all the time no longer being wasted on the stupid internet, there will be plenty of time for frolicking freely out there in the dark, in the freezing rain, with electricity now being done away with entirely, barbarous relic of the past that that thing was.

And if it gets too cold, one will always be able to ride a horse-drawn eco-cart into one of those naturally unheated malls, kept open to prevent the desperate from resorting to working for a living and over-heating themselves, and doing violence in this way to the climate. Oh the joys of climaphobia! Will they never cease?

Thank you Greta, and thank you again. And please give my love to your handlers, those people we never see on mainstream, who presumably groomed you and raised you just for this moment in history! No doubt, the importance of their mission will demand a somewhat less eco-freiny lifestyle than the rest of us will be enjoying. Perfectly understandable, the private jets and exotic retreats, because someone will need to demonstrate just how dumb the rest of us once we’re before the GREAT enlightening you brought to our senses, dear Greta, wonderful climate-repair poster girl that you are…
And yet, i have to wonder, if the climate were properly fixed, how would any of us know?

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