in defense of hypocrisy

the climate is a fearsome enemy desperately needing to be tamed!

There are those, some would call them short-sighted folk, or perhaps use less charitable descriptors, who believe it is hypocritical to take to the global media megaphone microphone and announce that we need to tighten their belts and stop burning valuable energy units and destroying the climate thereby, whilst they continue merrily hopping from one international destination to another and then yet another aboard tax-payer funded co2-spewing, climate-marring smoke belching paragons of flying filth.

And on the surface this argument may seem to have merit but let us take a deeper look behind the seeming hypocrisy of these climate saviours and consider the motivations and the sincerity of devotion prompting the actions of hypocrites the world over as they fight with every fat cell they possess for their dream of a co2 free planet full to bursting with flowers, rainbows sunsets and happy children… well at least those who have been deemed convenient … to reap the future rewards of these visionary hypocrites.

You may call them hypocrites all you like but to me they are simply driving at a higher rate of speed than most and therefore look farther up the highway than the typical working class peon who navigates by only looking a meter or two beyond their cell phone hood ornament. And the future rewards for all of mankind involve better weather for us all so how can we seriously argue against the future better weather we will all enjoy because a climate hypocrite interrupted their hobby and flew to a far distant country to promote this good weather idea?

And what do they ask in return for their hard work of climate evangelism? Well, not much more than their 6 figures usually along with some essential perks along the way! What a deal! I say again…what a deal!

And they do it all so you dear canadian or american or congolese don’t have to leave the comfort of your van down by the river and suffer a bumpy run down the runway on your way to the lavious splendor and all the delights a convention in Geneva has to offer! Really don’t you think these self-sacrificial climate lambs are worthy of our sincerest gratitude, waiting as they do with their engines warmed and superbly maintained , and all protective guardians and servants also ready for the moment they get the call from one or another global overlord and have to yet again slog their painful way to Brussels or Belfast or wherever it may be?

And as if all that were not enough, they must deal daily with their detractors and naysayers who believe they are merely showpeople, that everything they do is done for public show and that they do not even believe what they so strongly profess themselves!

What an insult to suggest such a thing ! such accusations verge on disrespect… I mean what arrogance! What insensitivity! Not to mention what disregard these enemies of the climate show themselves capable of, to undermine the saintly work of the global hypocrites we are so blessed to support with ever-higher and higher percentages of our incomes! Can you imagine! I bet most of their enemies don’t believe in santa or unicorns or gener neutrality either for goodness sake! They are the type to steal ice cream from small children and they likely fail to pet puppies too no doubt!!

Where oh where I ask you, would we be without our climate hypocrites? surely in a very dark place my friends, a very dark place indeed!

well ok, this does look a little bad, but who needs truckers anyway?

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