2029

The Green New Deal promised us all an:  

    •  Economic environment free of monopolies 

and 

  •  Economic security for all who are unable or unwilling to work 

These were but two bullets from the ambitious Ocasio-Cortez Green New Deal, which was introduced as a “massive transformation of our society with clear goals and a timeline”, ten years ago in 2019. It will “move America to 100 percent clean and renewable energy” in “ten years”, they said. 

And who could have argued against “healthy food” ? safe affordable housing for all” or “Access to nature” or any of the other nice things listed in this proposal? 

Even though, on a careful reread there were some hints within the manifesto that the writer suspected this ten year massive transformation of our society would not be entirely seamless.  

Well, they “put the nuts and bolts on this plan” and that’s when we found out that the bolts were letters in the mail telling us we will be delivering our suvs to the central collection point for destruction within the next ten days and the nuts were enjoying an interview with someone iin a white uniform telling us our housing was not “adequate and affordable” so we will personally be moving to a central housing authority accomodation facility shortly, and dont bother packing anything. 

Personally I didn’t mind monopolies in the old economic model. The only one I really choked on was the fake authority calling itself our government that wanted to impose on me a massive transformation of my society. What about those of us who kind of liked the way things were and didn’t mind some of the helpful monopolies in our world, who liked and even, dare I say it, appreciated, getting a break on our groceries at Costco or Walmart? And there were more victims of the “Green New Deal” , many, many more. 

And Now apparently my new duties will consist of sitting around inside my new enclosure surrounded by other patriots of the global climate transformation, huddling together for the generation of soothing body heat as the minus 50C wind howls outside and the dead trees fall to the ground and rot peacefully into the soul, with Gia smiling down happily at us all.  

And recalling how we used to think ourselves superior to those pre-fossil fuel era folks, those nomads who wandered across the land in their journeys to the seasonal food sources. Pitiful folks.  

Wait, I have to stop now. The lectures on making bread from tree bark without hurting the tree’s feelings are just beginning in the unheated newly converted hockey arena. I hope not too many of us freeze to death this time because less people mean less warmth in our new affordable housing enclosure, but then, that is the point of it all anyway, I guess.

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